Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
