Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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