I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
