Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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