People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
