Buhtt sex?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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