yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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