its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize