actually, I'm a sock model
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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