I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
