meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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