If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
North Korea, Best Korea!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
