Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
