if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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