Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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