One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
