Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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