My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
