Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
