Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
