Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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