I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
