i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
