This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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