so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
