his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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