Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
