I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
