I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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