this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
