3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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