If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
