girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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