return my video game
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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