I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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