Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
