yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize