So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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