I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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