We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
