It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
