eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
