I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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