are you so shy because you have an std?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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