addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
a search helicopter?!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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