he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
