I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
