Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
