Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
