I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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