yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
