i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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