The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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