when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize