Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
