ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
