But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I cockslap morals
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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