We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
