Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
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Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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