3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
