oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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