i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
