508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Randomize
