it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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