party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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